You say it; I bake it. I

About a month and a half ago I threw out the offer on facebook that I would (attempt) to bake anything a friend requested for free as long as they purchased any especially expensive/obscure ingredients. This venture was meant to allay two problems: boredom and a need to expand my baking repertoire.
Fortunately, I found employment soon after posting this offer. But this means I have had less time for baking and blogging.

I will try to get this back on track.

The first request I filled was for snickerdoodle cookies. It's not exactly going where no man, or I, have gone before, but my cookie baking needs work. Mostly, I need to figure out the fats and learn to pull the trigger earlier with taking the cookies out so they stay nice and moist.

The dough and sugar/cinnamon/cocoa mix.

Mostly done and freshly inserted cookies.

The ones on the bottom probably should have come out already, but they turned out semi-malleable anyway.

Because of how cold the weather has been, I figured I would make an offering to the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits.

Yeah.... That's why I burnt a sheet... Not because I forgot they were in the oven while I was getting ready for work... 

That would be irresponsible.

So, the non-burnt cookies still came out a bit too crumbly for my liking. I partially blame to cold/dry air for that too. To put a little more moisture back in them, I stored them in sealed tubberware with some cheap white bread. I think that did a good bit to help.

The recipient was appreciative, but I have not heard a final assessment of them.

In the next few weeks I will try to get around to my 2nd and 3rd requests: diabetic-friendly-tiramisu and quiche.

Back at blogging but not much else.

Most of my former classmates are now in the midst of final exams. It's a time I didn't take very seriously because I loathed it on numerous levels, from what it does to people to its pedagogical value, and probably because I knew I wouldn't be doing very well.

What am I up to? Knitting, thinking of things to bake or candies to make, lurking the internet for job listings, and, oh yeah, trying to get my health in order.

When I started this fall, I thought that my sleep issues would be over quickly. I would go in for a sleep study, get diagnosed, follow treatment, and get better. I would be a new man with almost every aspect of my life being improved once I finally got quality sleep. It has been three months since my initial sleep study and almost 4 months since I started seeking help. I am trying to self-advocate, but so much seems out of my control.

Currently, the medication I am taking does little for my negative symptoms (writing this with a mild migraine) and has added at least on more: ridiculously bizarre dreams. I reached the maximum dosage for the medication about a month ago, and after numerous calls into the sleep clinic. I finally got another sleep study scheduled. It isn't until the middle of January. In the meantime, I haven't had any direct contact with my doctor since my October appointment. The best I have gotten has been a call back from a nurse. Otherwise I have had to keep calling the receptionists. Sometimes they have new information, others they just say they will send back another message.

In some ways this has really enriched my patient advocacy education from the summer. Most of the people that worked in my patient advocacy clinical came to it after having some kind of need for patient advocacy for themselves or their families. I had a little of that after working with my grandfather for a summer, but actually having to struggle with access to care and understanding an illness are something else entirely to experience than just making tough decisions in a bad situation. I'm not sure if I would have been a better or worse advocate for some clients if I had already had this experience. Part of poor sleep is being irritable, and I'm not sure I would have responded well to having my own bad experiences thrown back at me on the daily.

In the meantime,I am trying to eat well, exercise, and keep myself active. Oh, and you know... looking for employment. 

That time I almost joined a cult...

It's been a while, and I have other baking/craft-centric stuff to post, but I just have to get this out there.

Last fall at a de-stress event in the Education Building (just across from the Law Building) I signed on to get emails from this group called "YES+". YES+ stands for Yoga, Empowerment, Service, and... + is undefined. Or it is until you join.

Anyway. This summer I have started working on a project to expand Law Student awareness of and access to mental health/general wellness resources on campus and in the community. So, when an opportunity to partake in a 4 day YES+ workshop presented itself, I jumped at the opportunity. I filled out an application explaining how the workshop would help me in my personal and professional development all in hopes of being selected to attend the workshop for free (the advertised cost was $250). A couple days after applying I was selected as a lucky recipient of the waiver. I'm doubt that anyone actually paid the fee since all but one of the people in attendance were either already in YES+ or students.

The first day (yesterday) started off with a welcoming practice where we went around to every other person in the group and shook their hand or hugged them as we said "I belong to you". That was followed by yoga and some self-reflective icebreakers. It ended with some simple breathing exercises and meditation. Some of the breathing was a little uncomfortable, but not too bad.

Today, we followed the same pattern, but this time we started with the first day's breathing exercises then went into another exercise called Kriya that was led by a voice off a track.  I'm not sure how long the breathing lasted, but it involved alternating between deep and extremely rapid breathing through the nose. After a bit of this, my body and especially hands started tingling and I felt extremely uncomfortable. I was wearing a hoodie and had a blanket over my lap because our instructor had said that people can get quite cold while doing this kind of breathing. I did feel cold, then I felt a hot flash and had to take both the hoodie and blanket off as I started sweating. I felt so uncomfortable as I followed the breathing instructions that I was close to leaving the room and regaining my composure. But I soldiered on because our leader asked that we just follow along and embrace whatever feelings we had. Eventually I felt so constricted that I began breathing extremely shallow, to the point that I almost felt that I wasn't breathing at all for a couple minutes. As odd as that was, I felt much more comfortable and for a few minutes almost felt some euphoria.

Eventually we were instructed to lie down and just relax for a while, breathing normally.

Afterward we gathered around in a tight circle and discussed our experiences. A few people had felt it was quite beneficial, but a number of us also mentioned a great deal of discomfort and near panic. I mentioned that it felt a lot like getting nitrous oxide at he dentist. "Yes!", the instructor responded.

Before we left, we exchanged phone numbers with the other members of our "family" whom we were supposed to call if we felt uncertain about returning for the rest of the workshop, especially if we felt like "YES+ is the last place I want to be right now."


So, here I am back in my apartment. Having done some research on my own then confirming it by describing my symptoms to a med-student friend, it sounds like Kriya is directed hyperventilation. Sure, you might have some weird experiences and feel a lot better afterward, but that has more to do with your body;s response to expelling too much CO2.

I have also come across a couple of blogs written by former YES+ (or "Art of Living") students and instructors who have had similar experiences. Basically, there is a lot of deference to the instructors and method and no matter how you feel after doing the exercise "that is how you are supposed to feel." (Shudder)

I don't think I will be going back. I may also send my "family" members an explanation of why that is. Actually, I just sent one of them a message. Sigh... Well, it definitely was an experience.

Not-Quite-Crisp Strawberry Rhubarb

I've spent the first year of law school with a baking/cooking to studying ratio that is probably a bit more biased towards food production than law consumption than most of my classmates.

I am pretty OK with that. I think many of my classmates feel the same way. First of all, because it has probably pushed my lower into the meatier part of the curve, thereby improving their positions. And second, because it I often share my baked goods with them.

Most of the time 1st semester, this meant bringing in banana bread, and while some people got a little bored with it, I feel like I have finally gotten around to a solid technique. More tinkering will come, but I can move on for now.

One problem with banana bread is that even if you cut down on the sugar, it is still pretty high in carbs. This meant that my diabetic classmate couldn't enjoy much of what I brought in to share. Two weeks ago I did my best to make a diabetic friendly rhubarb cheesecake. Lots of tinkering and splenda went into it.
Some issues that arose: 

• This was the second cheesecake I made in a hot water bath, and I think my foil wrapping job was less than adequate because my edges seemed a bit soggy.
• Another source of excess moisture: I don't think I cooked down my rhubarb sauce enough, and the layer in the middle seemed to mess with the texture of the cheesecake surrounding it.
• I'm not sure if I added too much Splenda or if I was just tasting my prejudice against it as a sweetener, either way I think I will try to reduce how much I use.

My diabetic friend and some other people seemed to enjoy it despite my misgivings.

To get around those issues I am thinking about buying some silicone cupcake trays. It should prevent the water problems and make sharing much easier. To allow for more real sugar and less Splenda in the recipe, I am going to try a ground almond based crust instead of graham cracker/flour. Because about half of the carbs in the cheesecake came from the crust, I was trying to think of an alternative without those carbs but that would still give some crunchy texture to go with the creamy filling. My inspiration for the almond crust came from the almond cookies my mother makes because she can't have gluten.

I'll post the results of those alterations later.

Low(er) Carb Strawberry Rhubarb Crisp

Continuing on my rhubarb binge (because the Capital Farmer's Market is full of the stuff, and because I love it), I set out to make  a lower carb rhubarb crisp. The first thing was to reduce the amount of sugar in the recipe. Most recipes call for way too much sugar to balance out the sour flavor of the rhubarb, but what's the point of rhubarb if it isn't going to be sour? So the filling looked something like this:

• ~1lb chopped fresh Rhubarb
• ~3/4lbs chopped fresh Strawberries
• 1/2 C white Sugar (as opposed to the 1 1/4C called for in the recipe I found)
• 2T Lemon Juice
• 3T Cornstarch
• 2t Vanilla

The recipe I was working off of said you should mix the rhubarb and sugar together then pour off some of the extra moisture, but I hate throwing out flavor I paid for. This had some ill effects later.

For the crust, I cut out more carbs by again reducing the amount of sugar and by replacing flour with ground almonds. The crust ended up being

• 1 C Traditional (not quick) Oats
• 1 C ground Almonds
• ~3/4 C Brown Sugar (not so packed)
• 5 T soft Butter (Like much of my baking "It's vegan, except the butter.")
• ~2 T Oil
• ~2 t Cinnamon
• ~3/4 t Salt

The topping turned out heavier than it's floured version probably because the almond flour doesn't absorb fat the same way wheat flour does.

Anyway, I preheated the oven to 375 F, spread the topping more or less evenly over the filling in a 9x9 pan, baked for 30min, then baked for another 30min at 325 F. At 30min, the crust still looked alright, but after the filling really started bubbling, I ended up with this:

The filling represents the Federal Governments voracious maw, swallowing up states' rights.
(Coincidentally, like a strong central government, this still tasted good with ice cream.)

The topping was neither on top nor crisp by the time it was done. Some possible solutions:

• Less fat in the topping to make it lighter, easier to crisp up.
• Bake off the filling for a bit before the topping goes on, reducing moisture while preserving flavor.

Since it isn't all that crisp, I've put it to use as the flavoring for my plain whole milk yogurt (Greek and regular).

In the end, the Strawberry Rhubarb crisp still isn't too diabetic friendly, but with organic oats (and depending on individual tolerance) it could be OK for people who can't eat wheat gluten.  Reducing the sugar and replacing the flour also makes it a safer bet for people that want something sweet while watching their carb intake.